Two beautiful statues in a park, facing each other across the grass, one of a young girl and the other of a young man, looking towards each other like young lovers. These statues gave so much pleasure to people visiting the park that God looked down and decided to reward them with life for 30 minutes, on a Sunday when the park was closed to the public.
~Immediately when they came alive, they ran together into the bushes and could be heard giggling and cooing with pleasure and the bushes were shaking. After 15 minutes they came out and realised that they still had 15 minutes more life to live.
"What shall we do now then" said the boy statue. "Let's do the same thing again" she replied. "Okay", said the boy statue, "but this time, you hold the pidgeons down while I sh*t on them".
No offense-christians
~Jesus, hanging on the cross, says, "Peter, come here." Peter, thinking he is about to receive a profound religious truth, tries goes to Jesus but Roman soldiers push him back.
Again Jesus summons, "Peter, come here." Peter tries to, but Roman soldiers again push him away.
Jesus summons a third time, "Peter come here." Peter gathers all of his strength and finally breaks through. Bleeding from several lance wounds, Peter says, "Yes, Master?"
Jesus looks upon Peter and says, "I can see your house from here!"