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OOPS!!!
Posted in 
Off-topic
OOPS!!!
Posted in 
Off-topic
OOPS!!!
A man and his wife were in a court for their divorce case. The problem was who should get custody of the child. The wife screamed and jumped up and said "Your Honor. I brought the child into the world with all the pain and labour. The child should be in my custody." The judge turned to the husband and said : "What do you have to say in your defence? The man sat for a while contemplating.....then slowly rose. "Your Honor".... If I put a dollar in a Pepsi Vending Machine and a Pepsi comes out..... who's Pepsi is it ..... the machine's or mine? 
Does anyone know how to livin up the chess forum? It looks so forlorn :(
good/bad/fatal:

-good: you decide to not have another baby
 bad: can`t find anti-babies pills
 fatal: there are in your daughter`s purse


-good: your son grown up
bad: he`s having s..x with your neigb
fata: you too


-good: your hubby is a good dress designer
bad: he`s wearing your dress
fata: it suits him better than you

-good: your son is doing his homeworks in his bedroom
bad: you find few porno tapes in his room
fata: you are the actor


-good: your wife doesn`t speak to you
bad: she asked the divorce
fata: she`s a lawyer

-good: Your wife is pregnant
bad: she`s having triplets
fatal: three years ago you`ve done vasectomy






looool would being in the porno movie really be fatal? It does wonders for many thingz lol :p
" One night a guy takes his gf home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the fron door, when the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her:n Honey, would you give me a blow j.b? Horrified, she replies: are you mad? My parents will see us!!!  Oh, c`mon Who`s gonna see us at this hour? No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught? Oh, c`mon, there`s nobody around, they are all sleeping!!! No way, it`s just too risky. Oh, please, please, I love you so much!!!! No, no and no, I love you too, but I just can`t!!! Oh, yes, please. No, no, I can`t.
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl`s sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says: Dad says to go ahead and give him a blo j.b, or I can do it. Or if need be, Mom says she can come down herself and do it. But for God`s sake, tell him to take his hand off the intercom!!!!!